


Perhaps, when we meet again

by remixed_thoughts



Category: Death Note & Related Fandoms
Genre: Death Note Spoilers, F/F, Mentioned L (Death Note), Mentioned Rem (Death note), Mentioned Ryuk (Death Note), Mentioned Yagami Light, Misa definitely has comphet, also everyone's dead, this is just gay angst, well those who are in canon are
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-18
Updated: 2020-12-18
Packaged: 2021-03-11 00:55:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,220
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28136553
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/remixed_thoughts/pseuds/remixed_thoughts
Summary: Misa realised that her closest friend, Rem, died, and was never told.Alternatively, I don't know if Misa had a canon reaction to Rem's death and since I'm gay and sad I'm making her reaction to realising she died gay and sad.also if you pick up on the references to the sea emperor's final message from subnautica no you don't
Relationships: Amane Misa/Rem
Comments: 1
Kudos: 12





	Perhaps, when we meet again

Three days before Light Yagami's funeral was when Misa had come to the painful conclusion she'd swore to herself that she wouldn't believe.

The night not too long after she'd been lead to the second death note by Light was the night she'd unknowingly lost the last person she'd ever felt a genuine connection with; which was odd, since she'd basically devoted her entire life to serving beneath the demand of Kira—of _Light._ You'd expect her to feel something toward him, but now, even the admiration she had for Kira had fizzled out. She just forced the obsessive attitude toward him so that he wouldn't discard her like a used napkin. But, that night, she'd unknowingly lost her best friend, Rem.

Rem was a shinigami. Rem had told Misa that shinigamis weren't supposed to feel anything towards humans; they were like shinigami's livestock, raised and monitored before their lives are cut short, their remaining life adding to a shinigami's. It made them virtually immortal.

But Misa remembered the story of Gelus that Rem had told her; how he'd fallen in love with her, and how he'd sacrificed his life for Misa's. Because shinigamis are selfish; only ever taking. A shinigami's gift of a longer life to a human is the end of theirs.

That evening, after she'd happily skipped down steps away from Light Yagami, all she did was worry. It was odd, but she felt almost unsafe with Rem so far from her. Before Light, Rem was never far behind her, like they were bound by an invisible chain, only ever broken at the cost of either of their lives. But now she had Light's old book, and the shinigami bound to that one was far from Rem. Sure, Ryuk was entertaining, but he wasn't protective in the way Rem was; in fact, he wasn't protective at all.

In truth, Misa felt more attached to Rem than she did to Light. Rem always protected her, in some way. Indirectly, perhaps; like when she loomed over Misa, talking quietly to her in public. The very presence of such an intimidating creature had always calmed her. She thought about that one time Rem had threatened to kill Light at the cost of her own life, just to save Misa. She hadn't realised it then, but by now, the reality of that threat had set in. Rem cared about her enough to die for her. Rem _loved_ her. Misa cursed herself for not realising it sooner. Oh, how she hoped she hadn't hurt Rem...

How blissfully ignorant she was back then... she wanted to go back to knowing so little; to _fearing_ so little. Back then, she hadn't the slightest idea of what was happening to Rem. But now she understood.

Rem was the reason she was still here, dreading Light's funeral. Part of her didn't even want to go. But she knew she had to.

She wondered what Rem's final moments were. Did she regret it, writing L's real name in her notebook? Was Rem thinking about her in her final moments? Would she have said goodbye, given the chance? Now that she thought about it, Misa would have given everything to be with Rem as she died. Hell, she would have given her life for Rem's. Perhaps they could have met again, with Misa reincarnated in the Shinigami Realm. Then they would have been able to be together forever.

Part of her still held a grudge against Light for not telling her about Rem. It's almost as if he didn't care; which, she knew now, he didn't. But having to come to the conclusion to herself was just cruel.

Misa often thought about what she'd do, if she were given the chance to say something to Rem again; talk to her again, see her again... She missed Rem. Maybe a little too much. But she wished she hadn't been as airheaded. Maybe then she would have said goodbye to Rem, or given her a hug... _something_ she could use to remember Rem by. Even the lingering sense of Rem's intimidating, yet comforting aura was nothing but a far-off memory, something she'd never be able to experience again.

* * *

Light's funeral seemed to drag on for ages as Misa stood, not paying attention to the far-off-sounding voices and melancholy music. She was more focused on what was happening afterward.

The train's mechanical and rhythmic movements thankfully calmed Misa as she sat in a nearly-empty train car. She often wondered what death would be like; how it'd feel, if it'd hurt, and what happened afterward. Those who used the death note were sent to heaven nor hell. Misa hoped it was somewhat of a seemingly endless wasteland, where others who were unfortunate enough to stumble upon one wandered for eternity. Or, maybe not eternity; maybe just until their next lifetime was ready to play out. But, that wouldn't make much sense, since it'd only make sense that their cycle of life-taking wouldn't end. But, Misa still hoped.

Misa wondered where Rem went; if she really was just gone forever, or if her soul, too, was destined to roam the wastelands of the almost-afterlife. Maybe she'd been reincarnated as a human, or a fox, or an owl. Maybe something wise; something who's eyes, when gazed into, would show nothing but millennia of lives taken. That reminded Misa of a cat.

The outcome most favourable to Misa was the one where they both roamed the wastelands, hopefully destined to find each other. She'd rather see Rem again, than Light. Part of her hoped he was actually sent to hell to be tortured for eternity. But, with that logic, it only seemed fair that she was sent there, too. She took people's lives without second thought, just as he had.

As Misa thought about all of this, she'd wandered almost subconsciously off of the train, and onto the edge of the tracks, where the railing was. She held onto the railing with a grip so hard it paled her knuckles. It was at that moment, with the weak breeze somehow calming her nerves, that she reflected on everything she'd done up to that point. The only thing she wanted to remember throughout every lifetime, and every realm she roamed, was meeting Rem. She wished she could remember every single thing they'd done together, but, remembering such a frighteningly beautiful, calming, and caring aura would be all she needed to find Her Rem in every potential lifetime she had.

Misa reluctantly let go of the railing, her hands shaking with fear she hadn't noticed she had. As she stared down, down, down beneath her, to the cars and streets below, Misa felt her stomach drop, and time seemed to stop. One step forward, another, and—she was falling. She couldn't help her smile as she plummeted, hands held close to her chest. Misa hoped Rem was watching her from somewhere—it'd only be fair that at least one of them saw each other's death.

It was odd. Shinigamis weren't supposed to feel anything towards humans, yet, Rem loved Misa. And, in that moment, Misa realised that she loved Rem. _We are different,_ Misa recalled Rem saying from a conversation they had.

 _"But we go together,"_ Misa muttered, barely a moment before her body hit the concrete.

**Author's Note:**

> GRAH this is like mega short i'm so sorry  
> i just had an idea about what misa would have thought about rem's death (because i don't think she canonically reacted to it) n i just sorta wrote it


End file.
